01/29/2025: So Much Easier, Right?
I wish the truth really did hurt. I wish saying people are just plain mean actually was enough. Because sometimes people really are just mean, and it hurts like hell. But you can't argue or reason with these people, not if you don't want to end up more hurt. There are times I take the bait because my wounded pride and feelings tell me that it'll be different this time, that if I speak up then these terrible people will get the message and suddenly have a change of heart, and I'll feel better for having done it. Alas, that's ignorant and foolish of me, but I'm here to say that I'm so not here for the unnecessary hatred anymore.
Sometimes it makes me feel so low I can't even find the words, because I just don't understand where all that unbridled hatred comes from between strangers on the internet and the world outside. There's so much absurdity going on around me right now that it's really hard to think straight, and hard to think about anything else for that matter.
I thought things would calm down enough for me to at least pretend like I can move forward and get through the next span of years unscathed, but it's literally impossible when every time I sit down to my computer I get a "Breaking News" notification on my taskbar and I have to see what unbelievable thing has happened now. And it always appalls me more, whether it's about some new unqualified clown elected to do a job they're completely unqualified for or some other violation of basic human rights. When are enough of us going to stand up and say "enough is enough?"
I hate that I have to say how I feel in my own personal space, where I know almost no one will read it or care. But I know the alternative is going to war on social media, and though I can't keep these feelings inside any longer without literally dying of heartache, I know that's the majority of the problem: saying awful things we don't mean to each other that we can never take back and that people will never forget. I could say "choose kindness" until I'm blue in the face, but who on Earth is going to listen?
The truth is, we don't want to do anything that's actually hard, like taking the moral high road, or actually trying to think rationally before we say ignorant or terrible things. We'd just rather contribute to the infinite problems in the world and not try to be better. So much easier, right? We'd rather wallow and stoop to brand new and shocking levels just to get some likes or try to insult someone for our amusement. It's so wild out there right now, and I know I said hate is bad, but I can't help but hate humanity and the state of the world right now, at least the majority.
The majority is making it unbearably hard to see the few remaining parts of life that are actually worth getting out of bed for. Sadly this is why so many people would rather go it alone; it's much easier to not have to explain yourself to others. But, once again, that's part of the problem.