03/29/2023: Bye Bye Busy World, Hello Nature

I’ve been a little lost and tired. The start of the week felt like an extra challenge. I feel a tiny bit discouraged, but I know with just a little more discipline I can get back to where I was. I count on it. This year has just already been busy and long and it’s only just now spring. Two illnesses, one big move, one adult thing after the other. But we survived and now it’s time to do the hard work to get all the way back on track. 

It’s just frustrating right now because it seems like every time I get it together, something else comes up that makes everything difficult. I just have to be firm in my due diligence no matter what. It’s okay to say no when others say yes, I know this much now. When people want to be stubborn and selfish, I can choose to be open minded and selfless, but with myself and my needs in mind. Going along and making it work for me isn’t the same thing as going along and letting the pressure around me cause me to sabotage my goals. 

I’ve come too far to believe that my potential for success lies in the hands of others. Only I can improve myself, only I can keep myself on the path I’m supposed to be on. Things have just been sporadic and Caleb and I have both been paying for it. We’re tired, drained, stressed. It’s been a while since we’ve gotten a chance to get away from it all and I know it’s just catching up to us. 

I can’t wait to hit the road next week to do just that: get away. I feel at home there, at peace. No obligations, just our essential necessities and belongings, letting nature take care of the rest. When we let her, nature can heal and mend our souls. All we have to do is open ourselves to the possibility. If I could be there all the time, I would in a heartbeat. 

I know I belong out there, with nature, more than half the time at least. But instead, I have to stay trapped in the mundane routines that have become synonymous with life. But I don’t want to live like this more than half the time. We go out in nature to find the balance again between these two worlds, to become whole again. Lately, it’s what I live for. 

Any amount of money is worth it if it means we can leave our troubles behind and recharge and reconnect with the earth around us, as well as with each other. I’m investing in more than an experience; I’m investing in a lifestyle, one that strives for the truly better things in life. While the rest of the world stays the same and remains unfulfilled, I will be gone, lost in the trees and lost in my hopes and dreams. I can’t wait to learn and grow and leave this troublesome world behind. Nature and reflection is how I will do it.