12/29/2024: Cabin Day 1

After time with family and a rainy day road trip yesterday, we’re finally back in our favorite place in nature. The weather set the perfect tone upon our arrival, and we enjoyed the sound of the rain on the roof and the overcast afternoon as we unpacked and settled back into the beautiful silence that we love so much out here. 

It’s an understatement to say I’ve missed this place. Every time I walk through the door, it always reminds me of our first getaway and how much it changed our lives and mindsets. I still consider that to be the point where I made the choice to truly grow and change for the first time in my existence, and it will always mean so much to me that it’s bigger than these mere words I write. 

Most of our mundane lives are nothing extraordinary, but there are a few things that are outright transformative, and those are the things that remind me that all of this is worth it. All the waiting, the hurting, the longing, the pain and the disappointments are part of the journey to something greater. 

For some, the path is more straightforward and maybe even more simple in some ways. But for others, it’s a winding road and we don’t have any inkling of what lies ahead. We do know, however, that we hope against all hope that it’s something fulfilling and worthwhile, something worth our daily efforts. It’s an anticipation and hunger that is difficult to put into words, but I know the feeling well now.

As a creative who loves another creative, the importance of finding myself in a world filled with cookie cutter complacency - and hoping that my better half can find it too - is the top priority. If nothing else, I don’t want to reach the end of this life knowing I gave up or conformed to the world’s ideal. My autonomy means everything to me, and I never want to stop thinking my own thoughts or saying what I feel. The world already has enough brainwashed posers to go around, and I really hope that I was put here to be better than that. 

The thought of being just like everybody else has never brought me even an ounce of joy. So I know that in order to feel like I achieved something in this life, I have to push boundaries and go where no brainwashed poser has gone before, for the sake of my future self and all the promises I’ve made to her to never stop growing, lest I die where I stand, so resolute in my ignorance and despair.