01/17/2025: My Present Contentment
It’s been a while since I’ve just smiled as I enjoy my morning. At least I haven’t caught myself doing it. I could stand to be in the present moment more for sure, but for now I’m content being aware of my present contentment, listening to old favorite songs and sorting my thoughts and feelings after a productive week.
Of course I’m still easing myself into the new routine, but so far I’m convinced that once my strength and commitment builds back up that my goals are actually attainable. And even if I don’t achieve them all, I know I’m on track to accomplish something.
I’ve been meditating every day, I’ve been gearing up and training for another 5k in March, I’ve gone to writing events and even gone during the day (a habit I’m going to get used to as this year goes on), and Caleb and I officially established a weekly date night.
I’ve rebalanced my mundane chores and priorities to ensure I maximize mine and Caleb’s creative time during the week and especially on the weekends. And though it’s a little silly that I feel the need to schedule time frames for exercise and grocery shopping, it’s honestly really helpful.
Knowing that I have a window of time to tackle a particular task, especially when it comes to shopping or that sink full of dirty dishes, gives me a certain level of accountability and structure that helps me compartmentalize all the things I need to stay on top of.
Of course there’s room to bend, and things don’t have to happen at a specific time all the time. I’m trying to learn that being off by a minute or two is not life ending, that moving things around to suit my motivation and the events of the day is just a type of versatility that will help me get through the unpredictable ebbs and flows of life.
It seems contradictory to be consistent yet flexible, but I’m trying my best to master the art. And of course every night I go to sleep, I have to be okay knowing that all those days I’ve planned for in the future might never come and might never matter. Another contradiction, indeed, to live every day like it’s your last but to also forge ahead on your path to your dreams with a solid course of action.
I guess all we can do is what feels right in the moment, and just see how the rest plays out. That’s why it’s so important to know ourselves and to be present in the here and now, because that’s the only thing we know for certain that we have: the here and now. And so I look forward to what today brings, and I’ll just have to wait and see if tomorrow decides to grace me with another day.