03/22/2023: Looking Forward
It’s been a long past week. I haven’t felt good physically for a while so I missed my inspirational day out. But now I’m back and almost completely mended. I’m always so happy to come to this coffee shop. I wonder if the barista recognizes me yet. There’s a really nice feeling you get when you find a usual place to go. I look forward to my time of public solitude. So I get some coffee and I stay a while. It’s such a nice place I want to tell everyone about it, but at the same time I like to think of it as something wonderful for myself, my very own sanctuary.
Having my own things makes me miss having companions around even less. It’s good for me. They’re busy living their lives so I guess I need to just live mine. I love our little life we’ve made for ourselves here. I have a loving and supportive husband, and I have the freedom to write and to go out into the world on my own and to find my own little slice of happiness for myself. I don't think I could ask for much more.
There are a lot of things I’m ready to start looking forward to. I’ve been so busy up to now but I’m finally letting myself get excited for the trip of a lifetime (Scotland). I don’t even know what to think about it, I just can’t wait to go. I want to savor every moment because I know this will probably be my only chance. No matter what I have to make the most of it.
It’s been my dream for six years and counting. It’s finally time to believe that it’s all starting to happen. I’m going to keep up the good work, live my days to the utmost fullest as I have been trying to do, and most of all I’m going to experience life, whether that’s in my favorite coffee shop or halfway across the world. Life is what I make it, and I’m so grateful for all the opportunities I’ve had. I’m also excited for what’s to come.
Life is good. I think about how far my mental health has come, and I realize it’s nothing to take lightly. I
no longer need validation and companionship in others. I don’t bring myself down or dwell on small problems very long. I’m secure, I’m happy with where I am and where I’m going for the first time in a long time, maybe even ever in my adult life. I love myself and spending time with myself and my thoughts. That’s something I couldn’t say for myself in the past.
I made my happiness the responsibility of others around me. But I realized that no one cares. It’s just the truth, and finally that notion doesn’t trouble me. I am also trying to learn patience and compassion for those I love most in this world. I feel forward progress, so I know I’m on the right track.