04/08/2023: Getaway Day 3 (Margherita)

I can’t put into words the peace I always feel and find while I’m here. I selfishly wish that the rest of the world would just vanish so that we could always stay. Life is so much easier when it is simple. I am reminded of that each time I come here, each day I stay here. 

My mind is suddenly silent, contemplative. My inspiration flows and I feel creative. I also feel closer to my love, even though I always think that couldn’t be possible. I’m always pleasantly surprised that we still find so much to talk about, so many things that we can still share and learn about each other. We have been able to assess how far we’ve really come, and to talk about our new dreams and recollect memories from the past that I didn’t even know I forgot about. 

It has truly been an enriching experience all around. I always want to challenge myself to make a promise to grow and learn in some way from these beautiful retreats. I actively try to make a promise to myself, and a promise to us as we navigate our crazy adult lives after this. It’s always a shock to return to the real world after a weekend of sweet solitude in our favorite place in nature. The trees are never as abundant or green, the rain never falls the same, and the silence we’re lucky to find in the busy city is not as restorative as what nature provides. 

I truly feel that nature speaks to me, and my religion is somewhere in the crisp air, the wind in the leaves, the rain filled skies and the drenched and grounding earth. If there is a goddess of nature out there, I am forever indebted to her for allowing me to find her and follow her. She is truly the best thing to ever come into my life. She saw me in my highs and lows and never abandoned me, even when I lost touch and could not always find my way back like I used to. 

I feel sad when I think about how these experiences are so hard to come by in my grown up life. I feel forced to take part in the mundane and stressful routine of the world, rushing here and there, always worrying and being drained. I want to vow to myself that I will do the things that rejuvenate me more. I want to vow to listen to nature more, to do my best to make up for lost time. I hope she can forgive me and also know that I haven’t forgotten about her. I don’t know how I could possibly ever neglect her forever. I would rather die. The longer I stay away, the more I can feel that I’m not doing more to preserve my true nature, that I lose my grip on it. But when I am able to break free and run away, I can feel the difference in my wellbeing.

I’m grateful nature still calls to me even when I can’t immediately answer back. But I hope she knows I will always return to her.