11/01/2023: Comfortable

We’ve officially accepted the offer, to take the plunge and move to Colorado. I’ve been smiling all morning at the thought of starting a new adventure with my love. Of course there is risk, and of course there will be an adjustment period. But once we get through the phase of feeling like we’re on a vacation and the reality sets in that we aren’t leaving, I have a feeling we’ll be happy with where we are. 

I’m scared for many reasons, but I’m excited for more reasons than I am afraid to embark on this journey. I think I’m nervous at the prospect of locking in the plans and making arrangements to depart. But today I was assured that we wouldn’t have to go anywhere until next year, and I’m glad for that. This is our busiest time of year, and the most important to us when it comes to family and celebration. But when I’m forced to accept the things that have changed around me over the years, I notice that family and friend dynamics have changed drastically. 

Of course I love each and every one of them, but as I settle into adulthood, I realize that everyone, including friends and family, will always live for themselves, and do for themselves. And I can’t blame them; I want to do the same thing. That’s why we have accepted this new adventure, this new life challenge. 

I’ve realized whether we are near or not, our loved ones will live their lives, and after they get past the rough patch of accepting change, they will not begrudge us for living ours. We will still be around for celebrations and holidays and we will keep in touch. It’s not like we’ll never see each other again. 

I look at what we’ve built here, and when I think about this being all there is in life for us, I feel a slight pang of disappointment, no more than a feeling of discontentment. I don’t think we’ve ever had a chance to see the world, to take risks and go on adventures, and now that the opportunity is right in front of us, I feel as if I wouldn’t easily forget letting it slip through my fingers for a long time to come if we decided to stay here. 

I think we’re comfortable in our comfort zones here. And I can’t help but ask myself: what if we accept that this is as good as it gets? If we stayed would we accept safety and comfort over living our lives like we’ve talked about? 

We’ve discussed at great length the things that are lacking here. We want to get outside more, we want to be in closer proximity to a variety of things to do. And I think we’d continue to make up excuses not to get out and do those things here if we stayed, considering it’s so hard to get anywhere and do anything. Nothing is tying us to this city in particular. And since we are not planning to return to our hometown at this point in life, why limit ourselves on the possibilities that are out there? I feel as if the timing couldn’t be more perfect. So why not now?