11/29/2023: Goodbye “Just Fine”

The end of the year is ramping up and I’m feeling anxious. There is a lot of good coming our way, but in the midst of the already busy time of year with normal life and holidays, it has brought forth some other matters of concern. 

I won’t know how to go about solving some of these issues until we’re back from our home finding trip. The main concern right now is how to keep my fitness journey on track as we pack up our lives and start anew. That, and my writing routine. At least I can write anywhere, but staying fit will be a little more challenging.

If I’m being honest though, I haven’t had an excuse for my lack of discipline ever since the trip of a lifetime that we took in May of this year. Since then I’ve found every excuse to half ass what I do, and I’m not proud of it. I feel like I’ve made progress in so many areas, yet I still have a foot stuck in the past where I don’t want to be physically and mentally, sometimes emotionally as well. 

I can’t put my finger on it, but it has been nagging at me for the better part of the year. There are things I enjoy about where we live now, but I have to admit that all those things are material. Our tiny apartment is perfect, our gym is fantastic, and our regular hangouts are nice and familiar now. But I am forced to ask myself why I can’t have these things somewhere else, with the chance at having so much more in ways of quality of life through access to nature and a world of options for places to go to get out of the house.

We will find another cozy apartment, we will find another gym and restructure our fitness routines (with the added opportunity to get outside more while doing so), and we will find new coffee shops and date night spots. Despite the few things I’ve come to hold dear where we are now, I can’t help but think I’m holding on for dear life to those few things that make this a pleasant and decent place to live. 

If I were to lose access to that tiny handful of things, would I be unhappy? We’ve lived all over the area and have complaints about almost every place we’ve lived, if not all of them. And have I not been on a journey to trade material things for quality experiences and memories? I think I’m in a state of letting go, another instance of change in my life, and I’m reminded how uncomfortable change really is. And I know that’s why most people decide against going on the harder journeys.

I know it’s time to say goodbye to “just fine,” and to contentment. Time for us to embark on a new and promising adventure where we can continue to find ourselves and learn what it is to have a fulfilling and exciting life that we deserve.