01/31/2024: Fish Out of Water

I’m at a different coffee shop today. I’m trying to scope out all the nearby places to find my new sanctuary. I feel like such a stranger in this city, but so far this place is the closest I’ve come to feeling like I was going to my favorite spot back home. It’s cozy, with good music and coffee. I like it a lot, and despite my apprehension about getting out there and trying things, I’m glad I came out today. 

I’m starting to feel like myself again, slowly but surely, and although our new home feels strange and temporary right now, I know as we finish settling in that it’ll feel better. I’m just not used to city views and having to be mindful of other people when I go out on my own. But so far I’ve learned that people are the same everywhere: distracted, lost in their own worlds of work and problems. 

They don’t pay attention to me and I do the same. It’s nice to know we have some familiar faces up here as we acclimate. It makes us feel less unfamiliar and overwhelmed. Overall, I’m happy I can still do the things I want to do, and most importantly the things I need to do. 

A friend of Caleb’s likes to write and he offered to read my stories. I’m building a blog and social media accounts and pushing ahead with my writing. This is the year for getting out there, for showing my work. The pace and the obstacles of this year are different, but my overall goal hasn’t changed. I look forward to seeing where I am at the end of this year. I will keep writing, I will finish my blog site, I will get my health back on track, I will be a good wife and I will get outside and travel. 

With so much opportunity at my fingertips, I can’t let time get away from me. We agreed to this move for many reasons, to get on the fast track to being debt free and to get out more into nature, to see everything this city and state and beyond have to offer. I look forward to showing family and friends around our new home. 

Even if it is for two years, I want these next two years to be filled with growth and memories. This Southern girl still feels very much like a fish out of water as of late, but I know things will get easier. I just hope my love is ready for this new job and can find some fulfillment there. I’m going to continue to work hard to get him out of that world, and maybe one day we will get to wake up and do what we love together, day in and day out. Knowing that future is a possibility makes all of this very much worthwhile.