05/23/2024: Pine, CO Day 2

The silence is so beautifully loud out here. The wind whispers in the trees and the sky is so blue. The air is different up here and I’m enjoying every second of it. I’m here to bask in the stillness, the simplicity of doing nothing and just sitting and listening to what nature has to say. 

Boredom isn’t a bad thing at all, as I’ve come to learn. I used to be a lot less comfortable in my skin, and I would always search for something to keep my mind occupied so I didn’t have to be alone with my troubled thoughts. Now that I let myself do nothing and embrace whatever thoughts cross my mind, I feel more free. 

I find refuge in the silence now more than ever. This world is over stimulated. Everything is at your fingertips, and this modern convenience has become a crutch, an excuse to not try to fix ourselves, to love ourselves enough to be enough. It’s something the world hides behind, and no one is genuine in their intentions. If it isn’t about seeing or sharing the world through the lens of a camera then it isn’t an experience worth having, and it’s exhausting to think about. 

I used to do the same thing, and I know I’m not free of blame. But I have made great efforts to correct this behavior, to really live in the moments as I experience those moments. The world is so much more beautiful and simple when you live for the moment in real time. The mind becomes a lot less busy, and the need to consume to distract ourselves becomes non-existent. I focus on each breath as they come, and I sit and listen to what the silence around me is trying to tell me. 

As I sit here and listen to the wind whispering outside, there’s absolutely nowhere else I’d rather be right now. I’m healed every second I spend being still and just letting the sensations wash over me. Most of the worthwhile experiences I’ve had have happened out in nature. I could leave the world behind today and never look back with longing or regret. I know my love is the same, and he wants the same. Being out here makes me want our dreams even more. I know all I need is him and the wild world before me to feel whole. 

There have been countless times we’ve never felt the need to say a word, and in those moments, across those countless times, we’ve said so much and learned so much about how we feel and who we are. Those are the moments I strive to be a part of. I always feel a sense of peace, and I’m always grounded in some way as a result of just saying nothing, standing still, and breathing in and out.