07/02/2023: Getaway Day 3 (Marie)

My mind feels a little muddled this morning, but I am ready for another day in nature and solitude. It’s always nice to fall asleep to the sounds of the summer evening and wake up to the stillness and quiet of the morning. My sleep is never restless here, always restful and welcoming. Something so simple as escaping to solitude can rejuvenate the body and soul in unexpected ways. I just wish I didn’t feel so anxious today. 

I know it could be the things I’ve been consuming since I’ve been here, but the goal was to not worry about those things and I feel like I just need to let it go. It’s been amazing so far, and I know my mind is so used to overthinking that I can’t help but let it run wild all the time. I sometimes feel as if I can’t settle into the simple routine and the relaxation here until I know I’m about to leave. Maybe I felt an urgency to savor each moment during our extended stay to the point where I started to overcomplicate it. It seems as if each time I come here I’m trying not to have expectations or comparisons to the previous times, and the active attempt to make it a unique experience actually threatens to take away from the experience. 

I am definitely lost in my head today. I know the feeling all too well that I’m trying to avoid, the feeling of sadness I always get when we leave this place. This morning over breakfast, we both agreed that this place has started to feel like a home away from home, that we’ve just gotten so comfortable here. Of course I’m happy to feel this way, but I don’t want to become so comfortable that I ever take this place and the experiences for granted. 

I think this is why humans ruin so many things. It’s shiny and new in the beginning and is therefore prized and cherished. But the moment we come to expect things and become accustomed to it, whatever it may be, we always neglect it in some way. We expect it to always be accessible, and then we stop giving it the proper attention it deserves, the love and care that we so eagerly gave it before. 

What is it with the human condition that we feel so comfortable and entitled with the things that matter to us? I feel like I struggle with this concept more than ever now in my adult life. Why do those first feelings and emotions fade away? Why can’t a pure good thing, and the feelings that come with it, last forever? Why can’t the experience and the feelings feel just as good the one hundredth time versus the first?

I believe it’s a great practice in an age where everyone passes the time being distracted to take moments to breathe and savor the things we love. To remind us why we love them in the first place. I will give nature the love and attention it deserves, the same love and attention it has given me when I have been at my lowest, worst, and most lost.