08/09/2023: Right Now
I’m tired today, but I feel good. I know that I feel worn out because I’ve put in a lot of work already this week. It’s already better than last week. That tends to happen in life: you get accustomed to good weeks and when the bad weeks come it’s even harder to get through them.
The weekend was especially hard, but there were still some great moments. We met up with friends, enjoyed some lazy TV time, and got the apartment tidy again. The week has had its mundane and challenging moments, but it’s been pretty good nonetheless. I survived the days until I could come have coffee at my favorite place to escape, so that has to count for something.
Today I don’t want to look too far forward. I want to enjoy the moments as they come. It’s tiring to worry yourself into the next thing, the next problem, the next event. All I want to care about is right now.
It came up yesterday that while some people spend their time stuck inside their head too much, the rest of the world spends their time being stuck outside their heads too much. There doesn’t seem to be much balance in the world, the thing I’ve been striving to achieve in my daily life. I’ve had to find the balance and stability where I can find it and hold on tight to it. What I can’t find I must create for myself in my world and channel my energy through it to live an enriched and slower paced life as the world keeps flying by at an alarming rate of speed.
It baffles me to think about all the time wasted and all the little moments missed in this life by countless humans. I vow to make these losses of the general population my gain as I make the most of my time and take in each of life’s little moments, that add up to a life fulfilled one day, with the people and things I love most in this world.
Everyone is unique, has their own journey. But the ultimate goal is always self actualization, whether we know it, believe it or not. Some find it worth the effort, worth the fight to learn to love themselves and slow things down. Others find it easier to hide behind their screens and to close themselves off to the world, even themselves at times.
Getting affirmation and acceptance from others has become more important than just living your life for the sake of you, your well being. If the world could break away from the norm for even just a moment, I could almost guarantee that moment would be the most profound moment of clarity and peace that they will ever experience in their lifetime. I’ve learned with time, effort and, most importantly, discipline, this peace and balance is addictive once you get a taste for it, when you open up the mind and senses to what this life is really about.