04/02/2024: To My Oldest Friend

Today is my childhood best friend’s wedding day. Thinking about where we both are in life now is crazy compared to where we were as young kids/young adults in school. This will be the last wedding of the only close friends I’ve had in my life, and an end to an era is on the horizon. I wish them countless years of happiness in this new chapter. 

I can’t believe I’ve been married as long as I have, and even more so I can’t believe that I’ve been with my love and best friend for ten years and counting. Everyone always says we’ve got a rare thing, and I’m pretty sure they’re right. Everyone else I know needs distance and separation from their significant others, to vent about them over drinks and dinner so they don’t suffocate when they go back home. Meanwhile I usually find myself suffocating when I’m away from mine, ready to go back home to him as quickly as I left. But I know having my own things and getting out into the world is good for me. I need to think my own thoughts and check in with myself from time to time.

I can’t believe that after all that time planning that I’m finally here, and soon this week will only be a memory. I know I need to work on my mentality of wanting things to happen quickly so I can go back to my life, but I think it’s rooted in anxiety about the act of following through with plans and being away from my better half. I always regret wishing it away even when I’m chomping at the bit. But I have to remind myself that this could very well be my last time seeing certain people, if in fact I was denied tomorrow. 

I could have my last conversations with loved ones today and that would be how I was remembered. And so I know I need to strive to be my best self to everyone around me, and at the end of the day, also myself. I feel rejuvenated today after a long day of travel, and I look forward to celebrating my best friend tonight and seeing her family. They have made me feel welcome my whole entire life when I needed a place to go. And I know my friend’s mother would be proud to see the woman she has become. I know she will be missed today. 

I look forward to getting to know the man who has vowed to take care of my friend for the rest of his life, and to see if he’s worthy of such an honor (Ha). Joking aside, today will be a day of reflections, life journeys and love, and I will celebrate and also be grateful for the life and love I have in my world. May it continue to grow.