10/02/2024: Daily Gratitude
With a new month ahead, I look forward to the possibilities. I’ve committed to a lot this month, which I often do, as I get swept up in the excitement of Fall weather and all things Halloween, not to mention everything in my normal routine on top of that. I know Caleb grins and bears it this time of year because I spread myself, and sometimes him, too thin. I know he enjoys it, but I also know he does a lot of it for me.
This is always the most busy time of year for us, seeing as we are on the fast track to family holidays and on the brink of 2025. It’s wild how quickly time flies from now until then. I find myself wanting to do and cherish it all - as if I haven’t done anything up to this point - but I can also feel time slipping through my fingers to the point where there is a desperation not to waste a moment - as if there is still an infinite amount of things left to do on some infinite list - and these feelings are always present and in conflict with each other inside me.
Something that has helped me with this is to set time aside to think about everything I’ve achieved, experienced and felt over the course of the past few months and to just practice gratitude when I can for all the events and moments that were so fleeting but wonderful in the moment I initially experienced them. This helps me to appreciate the small things, each individual piece to a bigger picture that is a well balanced and very much loved and cherished life.
Sometimes it’s surreal, my current state emotionally and physically. It’s really surprising to look back and see how much I’ve actually done and how far I’ve come on this journey of mine, and it’s also humbling as I remain in a constant state of disbelief about how much I’ve changed and grown, even if I can’t see the forest for the trees most of the time.
Though I still struggle every day to do everything right, I know it’s the fact that I wake up and try every single day, whether I succeed or fail, that makes all the difference in the world. I’m grateful for the ability to get up and do just that, to be present, healthy, and happy. I’m grateful for the creative outlet that is writing, and for all my other creative pursuits that I get to pursue, side by side with the man I love, my best friend.
I know it’s a little early in the holiday season to be reflecting on what I’m grateful for, but it has become a regular daily practice that lasts all year long, and it’s a way for me to see the good in the ordinary day to day. I hope this feeling will carry over through the end of the year to the beginning of the next.